Mammaw

Mammaw was a wonderful woman. She was born January 1, 1925.

Born to an era when an intelligent woman had little value (heck women only got to vote in 1920) she was smart. She lived without electricity and indoor plumbing. No telephones or pretty clothes or make-up. She washed mountains of laundry by hand and later with a wringer-washer. Her whole life was spent in the coal camps of Logan County, West Virginia. Life was hard and backwards. When I was little, I had a hard time imagining her childhood. As an adult, I don't want to.

Mammaw was such a nice woman. She remembered tiny details about people and always made me feel special. She called me every day, weeks before my birthday, to remind me it was approaching. She gave me giant candy canes and one year, she presented me with a white buffalo statue. This was long before the internet so to find such a gift was a treasure indeed. I still have it and it's one of my favorite possessions.

Apache, my dearest

I'm writing on this side of the picture bcz it's his "good" profile. It was the large swelling on the opposite side that started this heartbreaking journey.

When the swelling first appeared, it looked like a spider bite, but it was freezing outside. There shouldn't be a spider bite during a snowstorm, so I took him to Vet S. She said it appeared to be an abscessed tooth and scheduled him for surgery. That was two weeks ago.

After a frightening night of unexplained wheezing, early this morning Apache made another harried trip to see Vet S. This time her assessment was dismal.
CXR wnl, but encapsulated hepatic mass visualized on u/s.
She was apologetic,
"I cannot believe I'm giving you another terminal diagnosis. . ."
She also asked that Apache be retrieved immediately bcz he was having a panic attack - even after being sedated.

SIGH
No, that doesn't begin to cover it.
Can I swear?
Can I bawl?
Can I have my own panic attack?
Can I throw up from overwhelming heartache?
I am NOT AT ALL PREPARED TO LOSE MY BEST FRIEND.
I AM NOT!!
I AM NOT!!
I AM NOT!!
Do you hear me God? Of course you already know this about me, and you know it to be true.
I AM NOT PREPARED TO LOSE MY BEST FRIEND.

adoption is a rollercoaster

Today was good day. It's still scary, but I've decided I must start the blog before time passes by. It's happening. My dearest, deepest wish (to parent those 4 children) is being fulfilled. Today my dossier returned from being apostilled in Austin. In adoption terms, it means the mountain of paperwork has been submitted and approved. I've ascended the USA side of the adoption rollercoaster; hopefully, the Latvian side won't be too scary. Maybe?

Immigration said YES

I-800A approval arrived today!!!
Approval for all four children.
This is really gonna happen! God has opened the door towards my fondest dream.

Next stop for paperwork - Latvia.